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  my dick broke containment and went rogue

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  My favorite football team? Arse anal

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  🖼

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  sorry for sexting too hard and getting you pregnant bro

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  Making an account on all the kink dating and hookup apps and calling myself "CNC Machine"

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  "but I don't get it. Steel is heavier than feathers" "don't worry about it kitten"

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  The only silicon valley I respect is your mom's cleavage

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  Who called it horny blåhaj and not activated sharkhole?

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  @bimmer@mastodon.social this is an extremely good post

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  Who called it "trimming your pubic hair" and not "Bush administration"

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  @wikihow try scissoring

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  I think the menstrual cup is an amazing idea. But how are they going to determine the winner?

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  The average person has one boob

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  More and more people are picking up the latest tiktok trend: the so-called "breed around the world" challenge

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  the fifth element is cum

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  Buttholes don't deserve the horrible association with AI companies

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  lamentations of the butthole

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  Oh no! You forgot to select soft scaling when you took your HRT and now your tits are all blocky

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  Listen son Said the man with the bung There's room for you inside

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  I will never work at a company that doesn't have functioning MDM* in place *Massive Dick Management

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  Businessmen in suits don't piss on the fucking floor challenge (impossible)

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  babe. please don't take this the wrong way, but you really need to moisturize your perineum

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  Tripsitting my friends on shrooms and repeatedly telling them "do not hallucinate"

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  People on the fedi only want two things:

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  Bottoms on here want to be owned but the only one really getting owned is the EU commission account

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  Rawdogging the sun without clothes or sunscreen. Skincancermaxxing

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  Sigh. Alright, I'll let you install Linux on my computer. But only if you give me a cronjob after

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  Railing a succubus, thus transforming it into a succutram