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  Good news, Bad news for Washington. Bad News first: Girls genitals will be groped by coaches. IP26-638 has apparently passed 56% to 43% . WTAF #Washington ?? Good News: Washingtonian Millionaires are fleeing as voters kept the millionaires tax. Brian Heywood's IP26-645 was rejected

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  <s> Republicans Privately Urging Trump To Not Be President Leading Up To Midterms theonion.com/republicans-privately-urging-trump-to-not-be-president-leading-up-to-midterms WASHINGTON—Saying the gesture would boost his party’s electoral prospects at a crucial moment, Republicans have been privately urging President Donald Trump to not be president in the run-up to next week’s midterms, sources confirmed today. “We tactfully… </s> #satire #TheOnion #Jokes #Dadjokes...

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  @heidilifeldman@mastodon.social congrats, if this was your doing! “Putting ‘Fuck Trump’ on something immediately raises its value,” https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/new-mexico-changes-name-to-fuck-trump #FuckTrump #Corruption #Grift #Theft #Borowitz #BorowitzReport #NewMexico #NewAmerica #Satire

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  At first glance, the "ad" looks almost indistinguishable from a legitimate ad showing Kylie Jenner wearing a pair of smart glasses. But if you look at it from a different angle, the image turns to black and white and Jenner's face takes on a creepy, skeletal look. Instead of "Meta AI glasses" the text changes to "Meta: We're always watching." From the group "Everybody Hates Elon" Read More: https://www.engadget.com/2217151/activist-group-takes-ove...

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  Trump Says His Funeral Will Draw Much Bigger Crowd Than Ayatollah’s https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-says-his-funeral-will-draw #CommanderInCorruption #Trump #Algae #Alga #July #July4th #Ayatollah #Funeral #Borowitz #BorowitzReport

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  @QasimRashid@mastodon.social here is the video https://kolektiva.social/@MHowell/116087991090228778

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  Input your license plate to see if Flock cameras have scanned your car. https://haveibeenflocked.com/ #Surveillance #Flock #Spying #Licenseplate

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  Seems like everyone who sees him takes a picture. Wondering how many photos of our dog are out there.

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  I liked this profile picture enough to steal it from @funz and repost it. Be Nice: You should steal and repost it too.

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  @tehstu @mekkaokereke @davidnjoku Not-specific-to-any-country-summary: (disclosure: I watched too many launches while working at Blue Origin) #Artemis #ArtemisII

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  @StefanThinks Or, the Simon Says Straight, or the "Red Light, Green Light" episode of Squid Games (S01E01) Simon Says: Open Tankers: advance partway to straight Simon Says: Closed Tankers: Full Stop Simon Says: Open Tankers: make a run for it! Simon Says: Closed, You're busted

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  @rechelon I found this collection several years ago while searching for an image of the "Stumpy The Bear" comic book I'd marked up in college. https://issuu.com/conflictgypsy Stumpy cartoon https://issuu.com/conflictgypsy/docs/truestorystumpybear

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  @alissaazar I don't want to play that bingo game of "which Constitutional Right have you lost today" "I'll take Right To Petition for $600, Alex"

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  @datasaurus Or perhaps people need to know that the Northern Hawk-Owl is a species? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_hawk-owl

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  RE: https://tomkahe.com/@GiftArticles/116404278842733049 Why did this not happen before 2026? #Confederacy #Confederate

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  RE: https://girlcock.club/@poppyhaze/116386596248595526 “May your Tiki torches have wings” - Gwyneth Paltrow, probably

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  RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116397814304917001 Give him a trophy for his performance

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  @fluidlogic I'm "parallel printer port" years old

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  RE: https://federate.social/@jik/116369855390394167 "That's not a bug, that's a feature" Backup your windows data or risk it being essentially ransomwared.

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  Cartoon by Nick Anderson.

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  Your help needed: amplify the 2018 paranormal erotic thriller novel "Melania: Devourer of Men" so it ranks higher than her movie. It depicts the First Lady as a sexual monster and is rocketing up Amazon’s sales charts. A Reddit-led campaign to disrupt the Amazon search results for “Melania” is behind the sudden spike in popularity of the eight year old book. https://www.reddit.com/r/BoycottUnitedStates/comments/1qpp8yp/were_going_to_mess_up_amazons_search_results_for/?ref=404med...